Medical Humour  -  Patients

Suspicious looking mole Magnify

Placed on a fluid balance chart Magnify

Not a good sign Magnify

Last Will and Testament Magnify

St. Andrew's Burns Unit Magnify

A Patient's Nightmare Magnify

Jealous of Hardware Magnify

Bannister Rails - He didn't want to come! Magnify

Cut free from park railings Magnify

He's got his father's nose Magnify

It was a sort of hot searing agony ... Magnify

Yesterday he looked ghastly. Magnify

I was so ill, I didn't even want to talk about it! Magnify

Did you say 'Piles'? Magnify

List of things to talk about Magnify

Don't go through any rough areas Magnify

The doctor doesn't take contagious cases Magnify

More vegetables in my diet Magnify

Your stomach growls at you?  Can you blame it? Magnify

I guess I'll have to find another doctor Magnify

To put a patient on a bedpan ... Magnify

How's the hospital food going down? Magnify

Stop knitting your threadworms! Magnify

Take him off the vitamins Magnify

How fast were you wheeling Mr Goodacre? Magnify

Deadly Nightshade doesn't cure piles Magnify

Terminal Malfunction Magnify

Internet Patient Disagreeing Magnify

I like to know what the doctors don't tell me Magnify

How bad is it, Doctor? Magnify

I know just the operation for you Magnify

We die young in my family - It's a cultural thing. Magnify

You collapsed when told the price of these Magnify

When we want your opinion ... Magnify

Please don't waste the doctor's time with questions Magnify

Cough Syrup Tanker Magnify

I just can't read the fine print Magnify

I didn't bring you any underwear Magnify

Auctioned Patient Off Magnify

My dad's cholesterol is 290 Magnify

My dad's prostate is bigger than yours Magnify

I don't want another x-ray ... Magnify

The doctor's mobile phone number Magnify

Second Opinion Magnify

Manage without a second opinion Magnify

What's going to happen to me, nurse? Magnify



   Medicine & Surgery
   NHS & Waiting Times
   Careers in Medicine
   Inappropriate Names
   Hospital Notices
   Humorous Medical Anecdotes
   Medical Jokes
   Smart & Witty
   Men & Women
   Work & Stress
   Sex & Obscene
   Humorous Anecdotes
   Non-Medical Jokes

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